Hi ladies! Advice for a skeptical fiance?
Hi! I'm 24 years old 5'2 and 107ish lbs. I wanted to have a BA done 3 years ago and did all my research even looked at doctors in my area but came to the conclusion i was too broke. Fast forward to today we both have great careers that are looking up and i have the opportunity to squirrel away cash for the surgery. I'm currently a weird shape 32 B, I can not find ANY bras that aren't 100% spandex that fit comfortably. my breasts are bottom heavy and come to more of a point than i like with 0 fullness up top so classic bras just don't work. After i switched birth control my full C/Ds went to lazy B cups. They aren't bad boobs I just feel like if I have the comfortable fincanical and living situation to get this done, why not? my fiance and I have been together for 9 years and he is afraid I will be a different person or go too big and doesn't want me to do this but is trying to support me. He says he loves me and my boobs as they are so doesn't see why its necessary. While I understand what he means they're mine for me, not anyone else. My goal is my full C's again likely around 350cc under the muscle gel. My consultation is November 12th with a surgeon that did my best friends BA. My guy will come with me during the consult so I hope that will calm his nerves but nothing has made him feel any better about me doing this! Can you guys share positive experiences? And how it may have affected your relationship?
If he loves you he should want you to be Happy, and if getting a BA is going to make you happy he needs to be supportive.
When I told my husband I really wanted a BA he said “I had no idea how much you wanted this, call tomorrow and schedule a consultation” he also said I like you the way you are but YOU have to like yourself too.
My BA has had literally NO change in me as a person. I wake up every day and go about my day the EXACT same as before BA. Nothing has changed but my boob size. AND also one word of advice. Get the size you REALLY want, don’t settle bc your worried about what he will say!!!!
my boyfriend was the same. He kept telling me he loved the way I looked without the boobs and had seen really not so good looking fake boobies in the past. I told him I understood, but it was something that was going to make ME love myself the way he loved me. Still skeptical, I had him come with me to my first consult. He played a very active role in asking questions and picking sizes and everything. It actually helped me a lot too because he was able to think of things to ask that didn't even cross my mind. Anywho, after the first consult and actually seeing the sizers and how excited I was to be there going through with it and how confident I looked with just the sizers on... he was 100% on board with the surgery. I am now coming up on one month post op and he's been awesome with helping out and LOVES the look of them so far.
I think if he goes with you, he'll be more comfortable about whats going on. Good luck!
My husband (fiancé at the time) had similar concerns. It was basically his insecurity in feeling that my new boobs would bring me more male attention, which might make me realize that I want to be with someone else. Something like that. It didn’t make sense to me until I realized that it was strictly rooted in his own insecurity. But he was 100% supportive of me doing it, and took care of me while I recovered, etc.
I think he didn’t quite understand what the BA would mean to me and the reasons for me wanting it done. It sort of reminded me of how guys think women wear makeup for men. When in reality, we wear it for ourselves. That’s sort of the way he saw my desire for the BA. But after having it done, he realized that it was something I wanted to do for me and it made me happy.
I think your fiancé is just unsure of how your BA would affect you (mainly how you attract other men) and what changes that could bring to your relationship (if any). I say just reassure him of your reasons for wanting it done. Your actions will speak louder than words after your BA, and he’ll start to feel more comfy with it. I think he’s just nervous about it’s effect on your relationship.
You have to do this for yourself. Do not compromise the look or size you’re wanting for anyone else.
Look at it this way. Your significant other has been made aware of an aspect of his own insecurity. That’s 100% his issue. Though the purpose of your augmentation is **not** to help expose and offer him the opportunity to work through his issue, you can see that it will offer him this opportunity. Whether or not he chooses to see it that way is up to him.
I’d give your significant other a warning, he needs to address his insecurity and you will not tolerate him taking out his personal issue onto you.